Be

Melting into my arms
About to close a door
Or possibly open one wide open
A heartbeat against mine
Racing thoughts fade suddenly
There before me is a opportunity
A moment in time
Anticipated countless times
Acted upon never
Her lips on mine
The deepening of her chest
I hold her close
She never tries to leave
She stays in my arms
I trace her face with my hand
Like touching a dream
The only one I can remember
She smiles
I’m afraid
But I don’t care
I will be whatever this is
I will be.

the next one

Its happened all before
Its nothing new
Watching the door close
Hearing the footsteps fade
Sinking into my mind
Guarding me from me
I have never asked much
But perhaps that is still too much
The so close
The not quite
The crossed line
The more real I get
The farther they seem
I can be me for me
If I wish to remain me with me
I don’t know what to offer
I don’t know what to give
I have exhausted all that I know as me
Nothing left nothing left
Seemingly forever searching
For the next one that will say goodbye

last words

The last of crystalline truth drains from my glass
words I have never said ring in my ears
The reality of time opens before me
Everyone of those moments make me smile
Words shared show me life
Standing before me in a fascinating package
Amazing without knowing
Kindness without trying
I don’t want much
But I do want
My book is open to those I endear
My footnotes I keep hidden
But no longer will I fear what I do not possess
Truth shall be accepted or forgot
But it will be true
It will be free
I will be true to me
I will be real for her.

thin lines

Wanting them
Loving them
Needing them
Trusting them
Admiring them
Letting them in
Letting you out
Feeling their words
Feeling their pain
Admiring their flaws
Endearment in their words
Losing a tear with their touch
Catching a breath with a look
Never understanding why
Never having to ask
Fascinated by what is
Forgetting time.

being.

For all I have considered
All I have pondered
Everything I have analyzed
Every piece I have assembled
The words I have hung on
The meaning I have looked for
emotions I have considered
past mistakes I reply
moments I could change
different paths could be taken
it all could have been so different
would I have found my life
would I have ever been surprised
would I have felt alive
any action delayed
any words unsaid
any hand untouched
any truth not told
any life unaffected
any missed love
any delayed loss
all opportunities for a life to live
each experience is gift
only untouched by fear
of one’s own hand
Times change as well do eyes
Knowing that there is nothing more to fear
For every dissertation my mind creates
My actions are one less
For the changes I could create
By letting go
Living my truth
Giving my heart
Unbridled, unafraid, uncensored, unforgiving.

Words

Words can be thrown, aimed, or dropped, some with intent and sometimes just to see where they land. Often vulnerable words are tossed in the air, just to see who may catch them. Will they hear them, use them, respect them, love them, reject them, or embrace them? Words often treated with such fleeting respect as to have most fall upon the ground in the torn and treaded netherworld's of forgotten emotional packages kicked and broken without so much as a second skip in ones step. The smallest emotions, hopes, dreams, loves we try to pack into the most primitive of sounds and noises combined to attempt to project the desires and guttural feelings that build from within. Is there a path of more direct truth or path of raw being? Can we say more without words? With a look, smile, touch or even something as basic as the way we breath tell more stories than the deepest most profane stings of uncensored unbridled words and phrases. Why are they so hard to find sometimes, so hard to say, even difficult to find the truest of truths with? When those most vulnerable, soul searched moments, are sent into the air what happens while we wait for them to fall? While we Wait for them to be caught and cradled with the care and sincerity it took for us to find them. Is it scarier to accept someone’s heart or to give your own? When will this curiosity, questioning, wonder, anticipation, be acted upon, and all put into place, created, pursued, guided, to find that moment that can only be found with no words, to express that of which can only be shown, felt, understood without words. Perhaps…I have said too much.

Discovery

She sees me without trying
My secrets she knows
She’s afraid to speak
My heart she understands
I see her for her truth
I hear her for her soul
I miss her for her honesty
I want her for her unbridled rarity
Past fears must fall
I am not who I was
There is a reality I have found
I don’t have to pretend
Who she is, Is everything
Her only fear is herself
A selfless heart
A warmly lit home.
Wise beyond her time
Tenacious and raw
All her pieces fit
Creating a picture unknown to her
She is sweet
Her laugh, infections
Her touch, intoxicating
Her eyes, unhinged and unguarded
All I have to do is be
All I have to be is me.